The real face of evil...and other things

I was looking at some old pictures and realized that while most Dubya followers think the face of evil is Osama or some other middle-eastern looking people, for me the face of evil is a little bit more close to home. Yes, my face of evil is a tomboyish blond with green eyes and a flat chest..ha ha. Really not to take shots as I don't really care about anyone's chest size per se, but I have to take the shots where I can get them. And yes, my other face of evil is a short, cute blond with blue eyes and a napoleon complex. This would constitute my axis of evil. These two would be my ex's...ex best friend and ex boyfriend who have formed such an evil alliance that I really wish we had 30 days to hang them and then hey, turns out the hanging is happening NOW and we don't even have to wait 30 days!! Hooray!

But enough about my personal life. I just realize in seeing these pictures that I associate both those people with evil. Just pure evil. Let this serve as a warning that you need to keep a close eye out on those around you. There is a devil lurking beneath the surface. It gives me a chill.

In the other things category I was reading Rachel's blog and saw the one about her first gray hair sighting. I feel for that. My first one appeared when I was 19, I remember it quite vividly. My other best friend (not the evil one) pointed it out to me. It went downhill from there and they haven't stopped appearing since. I dye my hair precisely every 6 weeks on the dot. I find even that is not enough sometimes. I notice I'm gray in all the same places as my mom so I do believe it is genetics. Sometimes I wonder what I would look like if I just let it all go gray the way nature intended. But my vanity gets the best of me and I realize I don't want to look like an old lady just yet. I mean that isn't going to help me get laid right?

It's tough keeping on top of that. Not to mention shaving the legs. I think it's been about a month since I did that. It's gross, that's not going to help me get laid either. My plan for the past 3 nights is to go home and shave my legs but that hasn't happened yet. Tonight could be the night. I talk to men about this and they claim they know how annoying it is to have to shave every day or every few days. But let's face it, it's not the same. Shaving your face is not as time consuming as shaving your entire leg, times two, and grooming all the nether regions. The upkeep on a woman is just too much. Not to mention the eyebrows and mustache. And the big toe. Jeez. No wonder my hair is going gray. It's just too much work.

Then I wonder if I ever get laid again, and maybe one day get pregnant, do I have to stop dying my hair? That is supposed to be taboo right? But how can I let it go gray? It would just be too devastating. So now I figure I have to make sure to never get pregnant. Because if it's a choice between healthy baby and hair not gray, i'll take hair not gray for $2000 Alex. Yes it's sad. But along with that goes having to give up coffee/caffeine and I don't think that is going to quite work for me either.

The lesson is stay gross, don't get laid or pregnant, so that then your best friend can start sleeping with your boyfriend! Problem solved. I've just unraveled the whole mystery.

Going home for the night maybe with enough time to spare to shave my legs. We'll see.