Compulsive Behavior

We're all a guilty of some sort of compulsive behavior: shopping, dating, eating, washing our hands, etc. And that's fine. Like I know I am a compulsive shopper. It usually follows something depressing that happens to me. I get depressed and go out and spend money I don't have. But it makes me feel better bringing home my new spoils. So sue me.

The worst however is the compulsive liar. This breed of the compulsive species is really just ridiculous. Umm hello, we can all see right through you! And the worst is that you don't want to call out the compulsive liar because, identifying with your own compulsivity, you realize there is some deeper meaning behind it. You feel bad. You don't want to blatanly say "Listen, I know you're lying. I know you didn't go out to lunch with Justin Timberlake today, even though you can swear you'll tell me what he was wearing and what he ordered. Maybe you were sitting next to him at some restaurant, but let's face it Tootz, you weren't out to lunch with him."

It's just so bad. I feel bad for these people. They go on and on with no idea that we can see right through them. We're all in this experience of life together, and yes it gets boring, but no need to try to jazz up your life with fake story on top of fake story.

I realize I have no patience for the compulsive liar. I tune them right the fuck out. I nod politely and say "yeah really? NO WAY!!" , when what I really mean is "I'm not listening to you, Liar, liar liar!"

I've learned, specifically over the last 6 months, that lying is really never a good thing. They are messy and hard to keep track of and it inevitably leads to getting caught. And in the end, getting caught means that somebody gets hurt. Now why would you want to hurt someone? Or hurt yourself? And besides, don't you get tired of keeping up with all the lies you tell? How do you keep it all straight?

Case in point I have a family member who is a compulsive liar. He's lied about everything his whole life. I mean really lied. Claimed he was in the armed forces and spent time somewhere overseas, to which I sent him a letter and god only knows what happened to that letter. He is what we call a modern day gigolo and gets away with it because he has become such a good liar.

A few years ago he visited us with his then girlfriend du jour. Well apparently he lied about his age and when certain family stories came about, she did the math and realized he was not as old as he let on to being, and from there came tumbling down his whole mountain of lies. Of course they broke up and we were to blame. I'm sorry we could not play the game, participate in the lies, cover all the stories you'd been telling her for your whole relationship. We could not corroborate his lies and were then blacklisted. Oh well, better off I say. I mean it's exhausting having to keep up with all that, no?

That was in fact about 10 years ago and I haven't seen him since. Better that way because I think at this stage of the game, I would have to call him out on his lies in person and that would immediately not allow us to get along. Zero tolerance is my policy.

So that is my piece on compulsive liars. Just don't do it.