Coffee and Secrets

This is no secret: I love coffee. And I've finally perfected making it. It was a horrible few years when I couldn't quite figure out the coffee/water ratio and I just kept making brown water. But now it's on!! I can't get on with my day without that first cup. It really is an addiction, one that I'm happy to have. I'm sure it'll kill me one day, but really, what won't? I discovered International Delights French Vanilla creamer. It makes a world of difference. And not the fat free one- I want all the fat I can get. Mmmm...I just brewed a pot, can't wait to dip in.

Ok secondly- secrets. By sheer nature of either my personality or position in time and space, I realize I am a person that other people tell many secrets to. This is a blessing and a curse. I am honored that people feel comfortable enough to let me in on it all. God knows, I have few secrets to tell so it keeps things exciting. But what happens when these secrets start to get all mixed up and tangled up in my own life and then I can't just proceed the way I want because I know all of this backstage information? It makes for a real shitshow, that's what happens. It forces me to put lots of things on the back burner because secret feelings are involved that only I know about. It puts me in the middle and makes me want to scream!!!! It makes me have to be the better person, the person with a conscience. Crises of conscience don't always go over so well with me. I'm doing a lot better with them but still. Sometimes I don't want to be the better person.

I realize I haven't posted in months and then a one-two punch. I couldn't help it though. I needed to get that out of my system.