Phenomenon

There seems to be a phenomenon taking over the male population. It strikes again and again and it's so not cool. It's the tucked-in shirt. I don't know why or how but for some reason men of all ages, races, social status, height, weight, etc seem to subscribe to this craziness. And I'm not talking like a night at a fancy dinner where of course it's fine to wear slacks and a tucked in button down shirt. I'm talking about the casual looking, hang out on Friday night, tuck in your shirt. Why is this ever appropriate? It just isn't. Someone needs to tell these men. That's why they are still single. They tuck in polo shirts, t-shirts, long sleeve, and the worst offender is the tucked in short sleeve shirt. EWWWW!!

And you may be thinking it's just geeks. No, it isn't. Trust me. I've had much experience in this lately. This look is not reserved for the nerd. At least then, I might be able to forgive it and chalk it up to geekiness. Honestly I don't know how you can put on an outfit that might be considered cool, then tuck in the shirt, then look in the mirror and say "wow, i look great!" and then walk out the door. It's silly. Pure silly.

I found myself at a bar recently talking to a man that had just come off a bad first date. Somehow we began talking about our likes/dislikes in a mate and I started ranting about how much I hated the tucked in shirt. He became very defensive. In my drunken stupor I chalked it up to whatever. However then I stepped back and noticed that he in fact was guilty of the offense!! No wonder.

Then I went out with a guy who had the tucked in shirt. We met for a drink. Another internet date. I know, I know. I said I would stop but I get bored. So we went out and he started asking me what my pet peeves were. I wanted to say "The tucked in shirt" but realized I couldn't because he was guilty too.

It doesn't end here. I dated someone who tucked their shirt into their pajamas. It just goes on and on.

I'm not saying it's never appropriate. Sometimes it is. But some men just do it when it doesn't need to be done. When it doesn't look right. I know you want to show off your booty but really. It's not necessary.

Period!

I've been sick for about a week now, it seems I have some virus in my throat. I wonder if Loverboy is infected or not. Who knows but I'm not going to ask.

I was home for 2 days with the illness and I noticed something weird. Watching daytime TV really opens your eyes. So it seems that every other commercial is some birth control commercial that will make you "have 4 periods a year" "have a period once every 10 years" and finally, the worst "no periods anymore! at all!" I'm sorry but something is wrong with this picture. I didn't realize being a woman and getting your period had become such an inconvenience. It's kind of scary. I mean I'm all for the pill but this is just taking it to the extreme. Isn't it NORMAL and part of our biology to have a monthly period? I'm no expert here but I have to say that somehow we are fucking ourselves up by denying our bodies their natural course every month to break down our eggs.

I forgot that being a woman and all, it's so annoying. I mean every month I get this little sign that everything is working ok and hey, i'm not pregnant! hallelujah! I'm not the biggest fan, yes the period is sometimes painful and it is a pain in the ass, but I still like being reminded that I'm still a woman. Are we moving closer to becoming men? I really don't get what is going on here. When did we stop not wanting to be women anymore? We worked so hard for women's lib to just say fuck it, i'll be a man instead. Period? what's that?

It reminds me of that movie out now, which I saw, Children of Men. It's that dark one with Clive Owen where women become infertile. I think that is what's going to happen eventually. We are going to keep messing with our biology until we can't even reproduce anymore. Maybe this is somehow the government's way of population control? It's all extremely bizarre and unsettling to me. Something about it doesn't sit right. Are we prepared to put the maxi pad and tampon industry out of business forever? Someone should warn them.

Recently I was talking to a co-worker and we were reminiscing about the time we first got our periods. I guess the new version of that will be "I remember when I first and last got my period, it was all the same cycle and I haven't had one since now that I'm on this pill".

It's amazing we can stop the reproductive process as we know it but can't cure cancer or aids or our homeless problem or impeach President Bush.

That's all I got to say about that one for now. I'm horrified. I hope I never have to stay home sick again during the week.

Amazing!

I started off last weekends hecticness with a bang, quite literally. ha ha. I had a rendezvous with Mr. New Year's Eve, aka Loverboy. What I don't understand, and excuse me for being a little carrie bradshaw-ish right now, but I don't understand how people function in their everyday lives, go to work, eat breakfast, do ANYTHING when you could be lounging around in bed with someone for 12 hours having an awesome time? I feel like I've been missing out on a whole world these past few years. I'm glad to be back in the loop. I don't know if i'll ever see him again, probably not, but at least I have some really amazing memories. I still can't seem to comprehend why some 24 year old thinks I'm the cat's meow but whatever. It's all good and I'm not complaining.

After my ridiculous day in bed with loverboy, i had to go out to dinner with the bookclub which was something I was looking forward to but was in no shape to attend. So I trudged through it, sans alcohol. It was a good time though and really great to see everyone in a non-work environment.

Sunday was the camp fair in Westchester which wasn't as bad as it sounds. Katie and I put on a good show. And then we had a late lunch/early dinner at Applebees where we discovered that they have some really great birthday songs they sing to customers.

The week itself was pretty blah. I was sick for a good part of it and still recovering. Went to the SCOPE event last night at Stereo. I was excited to finally see Stereo because the one time I tried to get in there, I was denied entrance and wondered what was beyond those velvet ropes. The answer: not a whole lot. I was quite unimpressed. The place was small. I couldn't understand for the life of me why people wait in some ridiculous line on weekends to get in. I kept thinking there had to be another floor, another level we were missing but there wasn't. It was an okay party I guess. Not drinking definitely makes things lose their appeal a bit. But money was raised and kids are going to camp so that's always a plus.

Another weekend is upon us. No surprise visits from loverboy to look forward to. I think i'm going to take it easy this weekend and try to recover from the week, get my health back in order. And go check on my mom, see how she's doing with the shoulder. I wish you all a fabulous weekend!

Friday

It's been another crazy week. I'm happy for Friday but I also have a long weekend ahead of me, jam-packed with lots of stuff so it won't even be relaxing. Humph.

My mom fell this week at the Union Square subway station and broke her arm in two places. So alas, the streak of not having any family emergencies has ended. It really sucks.

I met Heather and the Castros last night at the Crocodile lounge for some beer, games and free pizza. Does it get better than that? It was a lot of fun.

I finally got my bike back so those of you who know about it can now heave a sigh of relief that you don't have to hear about the dreaded bike anymore. It's back, it's mine again and finally all my ties are cut to napoleon and his whore. That is the one beam of sunshine this week.

In other news it's really really really REALLY cold today. My snot was actually freezing in my nose. I think it was 9 degrees when I woke up this morning. I guess winter had to come at some point.

Other great news is that I got my mp3 player back and it seems to be working just as it did before the fall. I am really excited to get my music back on there but that's a project that I don't think I'll get to this weekend.

So it's Friday and while I want to be excited, it's hard knowing there is a full weekend ahead with no rest. I hope you all have a great weekend.

Finally!

This past weekend I finally shaved my legs. What an experience!! There is an actual leg under there. It's amazing. Glad that's over with.

Last night I dyed my roots too. I'm on a roll here. Don't know why I'm on this sudden womanscaping kick but there you have it. It's the winter, I'm bored. Why not take care of business?

Nothing too exciting to report otherwise. My weekend was pretty dull. Spent a lot of time with the fam, it was mom's birthday. Worked on my room some more. I finally got my tv! So i hooked that up and my dvd player and my room is now a true sanctuary. Nothing better than falling asleep beside the remote control.

I had a crazy dream last night. One where a question was to be answered and I kept waiting for it and then of course, as I was about to find out the answer, the alarm goes off. What the eff? It's so not fair. Life's mysteries could have been unraveled last night/early this morning and I lost it. Sorry people, another chance to save humanity escaped me. In the same dream though a bird shit on my hand. I don't know what that means as far as symbolism but there you have it.

I Heart Geeks, etc.

I realize maybe I'm posting too much but I have some thoughts that I need to get out there.

Firstly: Been watching Beauty and the Geek. I've never watched before this season but it's pretty good. And I realize that I really do adore the geeks. They got their makeovers last night, and for the most part, they looked hawt! Woot! All it takes is some grooming and a lesson in wearing deodorant, and we're a-okay. I am really jonezing for a particular geek, Scooter. They had to auction them off for dates last night with their new looks. Poor Scooter was auctioned off for some ridiculously low price, as I sat in my seat thinking "I would bid $75 for a date with him!" Hands down. I think in real life too, I really like a geekier man. Of course not one who looks completely geeky and unattractive but I realize that what I find attractive is not the norm. I've been known to crush on guys that other girls would normally not even look at. Something in the essence of a geek I find very comforting. Maybe because I'm a geek too. Oh well. I'll wait to see what develops on the show with Scooter. I hope he gets some action because he really deserves it.

Secondly: the drunk text message. This takes drunk dialing to a whole new level. When you drunk text someone, you can be much more ballsy than you are on the normal drunk dial. and you don't even have to hear the other person laughing at you saying "are you drunk?" I've been known to send a few drunk text messages and thank god you don't have a live person at the other end. It really aids in making a complete and utter ass of yourself and not having to deal with the consequences right then and there. Fun stuff.

Thirdly: my list of things that are awesome, compared to my list of things that suck.
1: 24 year olds
2: Being told you have an unbelievable rack and a fantastic ass, in the most honest way possible, despite the fact that you have gray hair and hairy legs.
3: spending half a day in bed cuddling and spooning with someone you barely know and having a steamy makout session that might be better than sex. Yum.
4:karma.
5: geeks!


All I got for now!

The real face of evil...and other things

I was looking at some old pictures and realized that while most Dubya followers think the face of evil is Osama or some other middle-eastern looking people, for me the face of evil is a little bit more close to home. Yes, my face of evil is a tomboyish blond with green eyes and a flat chest..ha ha. Really not to take shots as I don't really care about anyone's chest size per se, but I have to take the shots where I can get them. And yes, my other face of evil is a short, cute blond with blue eyes and a napoleon complex. This would constitute my axis of evil. These two would be my ex's...ex best friend and ex boyfriend who have formed such an evil alliance that I really wish we had 30 days to hang them and then hey, turns out the hanging is happening NOW and we don't even have to wait 30 days!! Hooray!

But enough about my personal life. I just realize in seeing these pictures that I associate both those people with evil. Just pure evil. Let this serve as a warning that you need to keep a close eye out on those around you. There is a devil lurking beneath the surface. It gives me a chill.

In the other things category I was reading Rachel's blog and saw the one about her first gray hair sighting. I feel for that. My first one appeared when I was 19, I remember it quite vividly. My other best friend (not the evil one) pointed it out to me. It went downhill from there and they haven't stopped appearing since. I dye my hair precisely every 6 weeks on the dot. I find even that is not enough sometimes. I notice I'm gray in all the same places as my mom so I do believe it is genetics. Sometimes I wonder what I would look like if I just let it all go gray the way nature intended. But my vanity gets the best of me and I realize I don't want to look like an old lady just yet. I mean that isn't going to help me get laid right?

It's tough keeping on top of that. Not to mention shaving the legs. I think it's been about a month since I did that. It's gross, that's not going to help me get laid either. My plan for the past 3 nights is to go home and shave my legs but that hasn't happened yet. Tonight could be the night. I talk to men about this and they claim they know how annoying it is to have to shave every day or every few days. But let's face it, it's not the same. Shaving your face is not as time consuming as shaving your entire leg, times two, and grooming all the nether regions. The upkeep on a woman is just too much. Not to mention the eyebrows and mustache. And the big toe. Jeez. No wonder my hair is going gray. It's just too much work.

Then I wonder if I ever get laid again, and maybe one day get pregnant, do I have to stop dying my hair? That is supposed to be taboo right? But how can I let it go gray? It would just be too devastating. So now I figure I have to make sure to never get pregnant. Because if it's a choice between healthy baby and hair not gray, i'll take hair not gray for $2000 Alex. Yes it's sad. But along with that goes having to give up coffee/caffeine and I don't think that is going to quite work for me either.

The lesson is stay gross, don't get laid or pregnant, so that then your best friend can start sleeping with your boyfriend! Problem solved. I've just unraveled the whole mystery.

Going home for the night maybe with enough time to spare to shave my legs. We'll see.