The real face of evil...and other things

I was looking at some old pictures and realized that while most Dubya followers think the face of evil is Osama or some other middle-eastern looking people, for me the face of evil is a little bit more close to home. Yes, my face of evil is a tomboyish blond with green eyes and a flat chest..ha ha. Really not to take shots as I don't really care about anyone's chest size per se, but I have to take the shots where I can get them. And yes, my other face of evil is a short, cute blond with blue eyes and a napoleon complex. This would constitute my axis of evil. These two would be my ex's...ex best friend and ex boyfriend who have formed such an evil alliance that I really wish we had 30 days to hang them and then hey, turns out the hanging is happening NOW and we don't even have to wait 30 days!! Hooray!

But enough about my personal life. I just realize in seeing these pictures that I associate both those people with evil. Just pure evil. Let this serve as a warning that you need to keep a close eye out on those around you. There is a devil lurking beneath the surface. It gives me a chill.

In the other things category I was reading Rachel's blog and saw the one about her first gray hair sighting. I feel for that. My first one appeared when I was 19, I remember it quite vividly. My other best friend (not the evil one) pointed it out to me. It went downhill from there and they haven't stopped appearing since. I dye my hair precisely every 6 weeks on the dot. I find even that is not enough sometimes. I notice I'm gray in all the same places as my mom so I do believe it is genetics. Sometimes I wonder what I would look like if I just let it all go gray the way nature intended. But my vanity gets the best of me and I realize I don't want to look like an old lady just yet. I mean that isn't going to help me get laid right?

It's tough keeping on top of that. Not to mention shaving the legs. I think it's been about a month since I did that. It's gross, that's not going to help me get laid either. My plan for the past 3 nights is to go home and shave my legs but that hasn't happened yet. Tonight could be the night. I talk to men about this and they claim they know how annoying it is to have to shave every day or every few days. But let's face it, it's not the same. Shaving your face is not as time consuming as shaving your entire leg, times two, and grooming all the nether regions. The upkeep on a woman is just too much. Not to mention the eyebrows and mustache. And the big toe. Jeez. No wonder my hair is going gray. It's just too much work.

Then I wonder if I ever get laid again, and maybe one day get pregnant, do I have to stop dying my hair? That is supposed to be taboo right? But how can I let it go gray? It would just be too devastating. So now I figure I have to make sure to never get pregnant. Because if it's a choice between healthy baby and hair not gray, i'll take hair not gray for $2000 Alex. Yes it's sad. But along with that goes having to give up coffee/caffeine and I don't think that is going to quite work for me either.

The lesson is stay gross, don't get laid or pregnant, so that then your best friend can start sleeping with your boyfriend! Problem solved. I've just unraveled the whole mystery.

Going home for the night maybe with enough time to spare to shave my legs. We'll see.

Compulsive Behavior

We're all a guilty of some sort of compulsive behavior: shopping, dating, eating, washing our hands, etc. And that's fine. Like I know I am a compulsive shopper. It usually follows something depressing that happens to me. I get depressed and go out and spend money I don't have. But it makes me feel better bringing home my new spoils. So sue me.

The worst however is the compulsive liar. This breed of the compulsive species is really just ridiculous. Umm hello, we can all see right through you! And the worst is that you don't want to call out the compulsive liar because, identifying with your own compulsivity, you realize there is some deeper meaning behind it. You feel bad. You don't want to blatanly say "Listen, I know you're lying. I know you didn't go out to lunch with Justin Timberlake today, even though you can swear you'll tell me what he was wearing and what he ordered. Maybe you were sitting next to him at some restaurant, but let's face it Tootz, you weren't out to lunch with him."

It's just so bad. I feel bad for these people. They go on and on with no idea that we can see right through them. We're all in this experience of life together, and yes it gets boring, but no need to try to jazz up your life with fake story on top of fake story.

I realize I have no patience for the compulsive liar. I tune them right the fuck out. I nod politely and say "yeah really? NO WAY!!" , when what I really mean is "I'm not listening to you, Liar, liar liar!"

I've learned, specifically over the last 6 months, that lying is really never a good thing. They are messy and hard to keep track of and it inevitably leads to getting caught. And in the end, getting caught means that somebody gets hurt. Now why would you want to hurt someone? Or hurt yourself? And besides, don't you get tired of keeping up with all the lies you tell? How do you keep it all straight?

Case in point I have a family member who is a compulsive liar. He's lied about everything his whole life. I mean really lied. Claimed he was in the armed forces and spent time somewhere overseas, to which I sent him a letter and god only knows what happened to that letter. He is what we call a modern day gigolo and gets away with it because he has become such a good liar.

A few years ago he visited us with his then girlfriend du jour. Well apparently he lied about his age and when certain family stories came about, she did the math and realized he was not as old as he let on to being, and from there came tumbling down his whole mountain of lies. Of course they broke up and we were to blame. I'm sorry we could not play the game, participate in the lies, cover all the stories you'd been telling her for your whole relationship. We could not corroborate his lies and were then blacklisted. Oh well, better off I say. I mean it's exhausting having to keep up with all that, no?

That was in fact about 10 years ago and I haven't seen him since. Better that way because I think at this stage of the game, I would have to call him out on his lies in person and that would immediately not allow us to get along. Zero tolerance is my policy.

So that is my piece on compulsive liars. Just don't do it.

Sectarian?

Okey dokey so the word of the day is "sectarian". Can you all say that out loud please? Apparently it's Dubya's new catch phrase. I'm so glad he learned a new word. Congrats! I think he said that word about 27 million times in the 10 minutes I watched of his stand-up act, I mean presidential address.

Anyway not much news in my world in the past 48 hours. My nightmares are finally fading, thank god. Long weekend ahead. New things on the horizon. I'm liking 2007 so far.

I've moved!!

I have finally done it, I am moving my blog off of the infernal Friendster and putting it in a place where everyone can access and make comments. I encourge you to visit more often now.

Anyway in other news, Happy New Year to all. I hope everyone had a fun, safe, and happy one. I know I did. We are now in the second week of January already and things are moving along. So far no deaths, family emergencies, or personal dramas to bring me down. I hope to stay on this course.