Notes from the sick couch

I wrote this whole brilliant post yesterday and somehow it got deleted into cyber oblivion. I'll try to recreate it but I don't know if I can.

I've been sick again since last week. Really sick. I've determined that my immune system has vanished. I keep getting these throat infections, each one worse than the last. It's so painful. It sucks. I haven't even kissed anyone in ages. There's no rhyme or reason to it. It's just my body revolting against me.

But this time while I was home sick, I got a new treat on daytime TV. It seems that the push to have women stop their periods is over. I didn't see a single birth control pill commerical. In its place is the unholy union between MTV and the new Hilary Swank movie, The Reaping. Have you seen the promo for this movie? Well, let me tell you all about it. The movie, that is, because between MTV's 15 million commercials, I think I pretty much got it.

So we start off with the south...that should say it all right there. Creeeepy. There's some wailing music, a wooden canoe floating through the bayou. Oh but this isn't any old bayou. Its water is replaced with HUMAN BLOOD. And who do you call when you have a river full of blood? Well Hilary Swank of course. She plays some sort of expert on biblical phenomenons. Does this even exist? They cut to her speaking in some sort of auditorium about how all 57 cases she has investigated have had a scientific explanation. But not this one!! It's very reminiscent of Ashley Judd in Kiss the Girls, or something like that.

She is summoned to the south, land of wailing music, canoes, blood filled rivers and guess what else this land beholds? Oh yeah, try cooking an egg down south. Guess what? They're empty!! That's right, the eggs pretty much are just filled with water. No yolk, no slime. Just clear water. Are you getting chills yet?

Apparently it seems that Hil can break the curse by opening some door that leads to a land of swarming bees. And lest us not forget one other horrifying thing in the south: kids ride their bikes. And they ride them in a creepy slow motion sort of way with the wailing music playing in the background. So will I be going to the south anytime soon? No thanks.

I think this was a good synopsis of the movie, don't you? I mean MTV airs about 3 different versions of the promo about 57 million times a day. MTV has got to have something to do with this movie. It's shameless self promotion. I just can't believe that Hilary has sunk so low. It's disappointing.

So it seems the commerical for The Reaping has surpassed the birth control frenzy. But let me pose this to you: why are the eggs empty? I think someone has been showing those chickens the birth control ads. Hmmm ponder that.

So I'm off now to go home and try to get more rest. Peace out!