Regression

I realize I've been doing things I never got to do way back when. I realize that being in a 6 year relationship for most of my twenties really robbed me of some independence. So now I do some things to make up for lost times. I sleep with random people. Make out with random people. I get stoned and pretend I don't know what I'm doing, meanwhile I'm fully aware. Oh well. I guess it could be worse.

Somehow I've taken some steps back but it's all ok because at least I realize it. I'm not really being self destructive. Just acting out a little.

In other news I'm trying to not drink anymore. I just hate how I feel. It causes me to regress and act a fool, like DMX says. But it's just so hard because I feel like every social interaction revolves somehow around drinking. It's not that I can't have a good time without drinking, I don't need it as a social prop. But I just feel like I'm not being social if I'm not drinking a beer. I'm just torn about it all. I feel like I'm just getting too old for hangovers and hanging out in bars.

This past weekend I went to visit the kiddies in Staten Island. It was fun, more fun than I thought. It made me rethink my stance on the whole kids thing. Maybe I want them one day. As exhausting and annoying as they can be, don't they spice up life? I guess it could get boring after awhile just being you and your mate or whatever. I'm not saying I want them tomorrow, or next year, or in 10 years. But maybe one day.

Well I must go and be responsible and do work stuff. I'll check in soon. Just wanted to let everyone know my mind is still alive.

Peace!