That Time of Year

It's that time of year...



Where work is crazy and I live, sleep, breathe OASIS.



Where I have insomnia and wake up at 5:30 a.m. EVERY DAY



Where the days are long, nights short. Everything is beautiful and green yet I have no time to see it or appreciate it.

Things are happening quick. I'm going out to Jersey in 17 days to tackle being Operations Director. Scary and exciting all at the same time.

I'm staying in Park Slope right now, dogsitting for two cocker spaniels. What I've learned about park slope is that you must have at least one child and one dog to live here. It's a great and beautiful neighborhood. But I'm clearly not eligible.

I've been reading some Zen literature lately in an effort to better myself mentally. It's working. A lot of it has to do with embracing the moment and not focusing on the past or the future. It's also about accepting things the way they are and appreciating things the way they are. And it focuses on re-training your brain to think in a certain way. I feel good about it and about life. And while I'm super stressed and ready to break, I can find my happy place.

Things are changing on a lot of levels and I think it's going to be a good thing. I guess that's really all I can say. The dating scene is null and void right now. I tried things out with Vinny but it was clearly a mistake. He seems to be a bit too sensitive, high maintenance, and downright crazy. He felt I wasn't committed enough and told me he didn't need any more "friends" at the moment. How's that for jumping from zero to psycho in 21 days without even letting us give it a fair shot? Granted, things are hard for me to commit to right now as I'm leaving and busy at work beyond belief. But I could have found a way to make it work if he didn't go completely ape shit on me and tell me that his feelings count, mine don't, and that's that. WHEW. Glad I escaped that one in tact.

But I'm not stressing. It was actually laughable and I had a hard time not cracking up in his face. Apparently this was very serious to him and I didn't want to demean that by laughing. So I let him go off on me for a good 20 minutes and then we hung up. It was great. And I'm great.

That's all for now. Gotta finish my dinner.

There's no place like MySpace

So my life is still pretty boring. I'm listening to a lot of music lately. John Auer is one of my new favs. He used to be in The Posies and Big Star. I saw him perform at Union Hall last weekend and it was decent. He did this great version of the Posie's song 'Flavor of the Month' and of Big Star's 'Thirteen'. And props to Rachel for making me get into Pete Yorn, another good one. So yeah, life lately has been about discovering some good tunes.

For my random exciting story of the week, I offer the following:

I had been searching myspace and friendster for quite some time here and there for an old friend of mine. And I don't mean searching everyday but you know, now and again when the name would pop up. The suspect was this guy Vinny that back when I was 16 and he was 21 we used to talk, hang out, what have you. We developed some sort of relationship. Not quite boyfriend and girlfriend. But slightly more than friends, at least from his perspective I think.

Anyway I was quite conflicted back then. I knew he was a good guy but I had this insane crush on someone else that I could not let go of, and therefore, it wouldn't allow me to see Vinny in any other light than just a friend. It was a sad, complicated story that I'm sure ended with me dramatically telling him that I could no longer be his friend. What is my problem?? The details are all very vague but I'm sure if I go back into the archives (aka my diary) I will see how it all wound down.

But in any event, from time to time, year to year, I would sometimes think of Vinny, wonder whatever happened to him and why I was such an idiot. I tried searching for him a few times on myspace and friendster but with no luck. I had a period of time where I was sure I would see him on the train, he wouldn't remember me and we'd have some funny reunion. We had a great chemistry way back when. I just remember us being very funny and bouncing off eachother's sarcasm.

Last Friday I was randomly on myspace and decided that I would again put his name in just to see what happened. And poof! Like magic, his profile popped up. I couldn't believe it. I immediately sent him a message saying that I wasn't sure if he remembered me but I was glad to find him and I wanted to check in and see how his life was going.

Messages flew back and forth and we finally wound up having a great phone conversation on Sunday. It's so weird and random to talk to someone after 12 years but yet pick up like we never left. Apparently he was trying to find me also on myspace but was spelling my last name wrong. I was equally shocked that I found him and he was also trying to find me!! I thought he would have forgotten, but no.

Turns out he was in the Navy, is a pretty good photographer (you can check out his pics at www.gulizio.com) and is living right around the corner from where he was way back when. The funniest part of our conversation was that he said to me "So you never got married" and I said "no" and he said "I have a confession. I didn't think you would get married. You didn't seem like the marrying kind". I'm glad he was able to extract this when I was 16!!! I was of course taken back but he added "Well you were very complicated back then". Ugh, complicated. I would settle for dramatic, but complicated? And also who ISN'T complicated at 16? I guess he just summed up my whole life and he's not really that far off.

He told me I was exactly the same and he was too. I mean, sounded the same and all, like we never missed a beat.

Where does this all lead? Well we're getting together this weekend. We'll see what happens. I'm just so curious to see him and find out what's been going on. I mean we got the shortened version of eachother's lives but I'm just still kind of in shock at the craziness of it all. I'm dying to see more of his pictures, he's been to so many places when he was in the Navy. Hopefully I won't be as 'complicated' as I was and I can conduct myself like a normal person. YEAH RIGHT!!!!

What I learned from this is that Myspace is really amazing. And maybe that I'm not so forgettable. I'll keep everyone posted.