So...

So it's Friday and I have not heard from Mr. Tv. I guess I'm feeling kind of down about it but I think I'm going to put myself out there and call him, just to see.

In other news, have you all heard this story about the chocolate Jesus?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070330/ap_on_re_us/chocolate_jesus;_ylt=AmJD2QHdhSqqcj0PWQRRoydH2ocA

I saw this story on the news last night and I am shocked and disappointed to see today that they are cancelling this. I was born and raised Catholic. I maintain a certain relationship with Jesus, God, the whole Holy Trinity and what have you. However as I got older I realized there were a lot of things I didn't agree with in this religion. To me, I just take the parts I like and I maintain a spirituality about it. What gets me about this is Cardinal Egan calling it a 'sickening display' and whatnot.

Well isn't the whole priests having sex with little boys really more sickening than a chocolate jesus? I could think of a lot of things more sickening than this. I mean there is so much about the catholic church that makes me quite sick. A chocolate jesus? Well it's art. It's easter time. Instead of a chocolate bunny, chocolate jesus. People really need to just calm down. I don't find it offensive. I actually think it's kind of cool. It's not tasteless. I saw this story on the news last night and they had the gallery owner on and I was thinking I should contact him and let him know that it's really not that bad. Well I guess I'm too late since they pulled it now.

I don't really get what the catholics are so uppity about when they have so much dysfunction running through their holy water. A chocolate jesus doesn't really make me think less of my religion. It's the rampant hatred that it teaches, the intolerance, the deniance of self that really makes me think less.

That's just my two cents for today on Catholicism. I would have like to see the chocolate jesus, maybe taken a bite. Oh well.

My Favorite Mistake

I figure maybe I owe my loyal readers some explanation of my weekend since I did hype everyone up over it. But maybe I'll omit some names and details so as to not offend the involved parties.

Friday night I had my date with Mr. Tv. I went to banana republic after work and bought myself a cute little shirt/belt combo in a last ditch effort to appear feminine and put together. HA HA HA HA. But really. I was sooo nervous for this date. I've been on quite a few dates recently and there were none that I was this nervous or excited about.

I got the call and we agree to meet at a location in Williamsburg, how surprising. I show up and he's outside on the cell phone, giving me the sign that someone is yapping to him. Anyway he was just as cute as I remembered, if not cuter. He finally cuts the person off with a very sweet "I don't mean to cut you but my girl Melanie is here so I gotta go". Awwww.

We proceeded into the bar, sat ourselves in a corner and there you have it. 3 drinks for me, two for him and call it a night. Well we sat at the bar for a good 4 hours. I thought we had some excellent conversation. I learned all about the behind-the-scenes tv business, which was so interesting because I don't know anyone who does that kind of work. I felt it hard to look him in the eye because I thought he was that cute. And I don't mean like hot in a drooly sort of way. Just super cute in all the right ways, with the messy hair, faint beard and mustache. Yum.

We left the bar around 1 a.m. I didn't want to just leave it as I normally do, which is jumping out of the car so fast there is no opportunity for a kiss even on the cheek. So I went in for the lip kiss. Not the gross makeout but a sweet, innocent, little peck. He didn't seem to be resisting. I tried to secure another date but he seemed on the fence. Hey, I get it, he works crazy hours, has a crazy schedule and that's fine. I'm not asking for marriage or anything. He said he'd call me this week. Well it's Wednesday. I don't know if I should be concerned or not yet.

He did sum up my life in the perfect way though. After telling him some of my stories, he said "You are surrounded by crazy people". I could not have put it better.

I left that date feeling quite high. I got home and could not sleep.

Tune in for Saturday night's recap. A hilarious evening I like to call "Date with a guido". Or something like that.

About last night...

Ok so yesterday I was writing from the depths of boredom. Today, I have a more exciting tale of my night last night. It was an emotional rollercoaster.

Let me start with this: I went to Pete's Candy Store in Williamsburg to participate in Wednesday night's Trivia night. Paired up with some girls there to be on their team since we arrived late. It felt like I was back in school, some very nerdy people all sitting very seriously and studiously around tables, pens and papers in hand. The questions were ridiculously hard and random. It was not trivia of the average person. I felt dumb. But I had some Long Island Iced Tea's and that made it all okay.

One of the girls we paired up with was a very cute, if not slightly butchy, girl from Hawaii. For whatever reason (probably a combination of boredom, loneliness and the LIT's) I was sort of feeling her. I was definitely having a bi-curious moment. Anyway I tried to get some play on that only to be told I wasn't her type!! Ugh the rejection!! I felt pretty sad after that and was getting pretty down on myself. I don't know what I expected. Apparently not that. So I left he bar feeling pretty buzzed and depressed. What a great combination. Onto my next conquest.

Driving through Williamsburg, I stumbled across a television crew that was filming something. I stopped at the red light where it was all happening. This ridiculously cute man (part of the crew) was standing there in the street so I rolled down my window and asked him what all the fuss was about. He proceeded to tell me they are filiming a pilot for a show called Gossip Girls and that it's a New York version of The O.C. He then pointed out to me the guy who produces The O.C. or whatever. Well of course I had no idea of either who he was talking about or who he was pointing to but ok.

We pulled away and somehow I felt compelled to go back and want to speak to this man. He was really cute in the dorky way that I love. I waited a bit and then circled around again. This time with my phone open and in hand so I could get a drive-by number! I knew he was working and didn't want to make a scene so I figured if I just rolled up and asked for digits, we'd be good to go.

The drive-by went like this: we pull up, stop, roll the window down and I wave him over. He says "you again?" To which I start babbling and he puts his fingers to his lips to silence me and says in a whisper "We're filming right now, go around the block again". Who am I to say no?

Go around the block again. I pull up again, roll down the window. Phone open and ready again. I start babbling again about how I know he's working but I want to take him out sometime and can I have his number. First sentence out of his mouth is "I don't make a lot of money!" Well right there I think we know that we are perfect for eachother. I started cracking up and say "I really don't care how much money you make. " My assumption is that he thought that I was all starstruck and caught up and wanted to date him because of what he does. HAH! I have no clue what it is he does, nor do I care, nor do I want him to try to get me on TV. The horror! I just wanted to take him out.

The conversation went on, I found out that he lives here and not in L.A., he has crazy work hours, and I finally got those digits. And I did the age old experiment of calling him right then and there to make sure I wasn't getting duped. Can we say paranoid??

I pulled away victorious. I then text messaged him and I'm supposed to call him today to sort it out and get together tomorrow. Whew. Crazy.

The night didn't end there. We tried to go to a spontaneous dinner at Peter Luger's...crazy I know. Pit stop at the bank to get some cash. And we couldn't be seated. Apparently thier last reservation is 9:45 and it was now 10:30. Oh well. Kellogg diner we go.

And that was that. Now back at work and getting myself all worked up over having to call this guy and make a date plan. What is wrong with me? And why is my life a sitcom?

Workless

Today is the second day of not being able to do work based on the fact that our computers are down at work. Hmmmph.

Not too much else to report other than boredom. I mean things happen in life but nothing that exciting. I've been out to dinner a bunch in the past week, all good and enjoyable meals. Spent Sunday doing a lot of shoveling, on account of our recent storm. I haven't seen any movies. Haven't finished any books yet.

I guess I'm just posting because there is little else I can do. I dyed my hair last night. Watched too much TV on Monday night, what an overload! And can I just say for the record and those of you who watch The Hills, I fu$king hate Spencer Pratt! His hair, his teeth, his upper lip. I can't stand any of it. It makes me sick to my stomach. What a weasel. I can't even deal. That stupid chain he wears around his neck. Ugh, all of it.

I guess that's all I have for now. Boring I know. But it's all I got.

Spring Forward

I'm back from another weekend. But this one was weird because of the whole time change thing. I feel like yesterday went by in a blur, before I knew it I was forcing myself to sleep.

Friday night I went to dinner with my girl Marla. It was good to recap. We then went to Level, one of the newer hotspots in the Ridge. What's funny is that the people in the Bay Ridge bars seem to always stay the same. No matter how often or not that I go out there, we always wind up seeing the same group of guys from high school. It's weird. It seems they are getting older and the girls are getting younger. I feel like if I'm there, and they are there, there's something wrong with this picture. I mean I know I've moved on, moved out of the ridge, gotten a life of some sort. But these guys? And these poor girls have no idea and think they are meeting some kind of sophisticated older man. Meanwhile they are just meeting the losers and rejects who can't seem to get a life.

Saturday night was the bookclub meeting in Hoboken. I've never been to Hoboken before. Cute little town but it did remind me a bit of Bay Ridge. I feel like every cutesy little town reminds me of bay ridge. We had a great, if not quick, dinner at Margheritas. Awesome Italian food and BYOB, which I thought included soda, so I came with Brooklyn lager and two bottles of coke in tow. Seriously I have some blond moments. The dinner was so much and so quick that it made me literally sick. But it was deee-licious. I would like to go back for a more leisurely dinner.

After dinner we had time to kill and hit up a bar where we played pool. That's where we met Gina. Gina was standing by the bathroom watching us play, then felt compelled to coach us, then felt compelled to join us. I don't know what exactly about us made us scream for an extra, unknown, player but she was there nonetheless. I had to admire her fearlessness. Here we were, possibly the worst pool players in the world (or so we thought, but with some booze and gina helping us we got better) and she wanted to befriend us.

We then trekked back to the city to the bitter end to see some live music, aka, Rutt. He always provides good tunes. We hung around at Peculiar Pub afterwards and I almost felt like I was an NYU student. Maybe for a split second and then it passed. I took the train home in the pouring rain at about 1:30. I'm glad I was somewhat sober otherwise I feel like it could have been a bad experience.

Yesterday was a blur at the Roosevelt Field mall. I wanted to shop but felt too tired. And here I am. I wonder what happened to that hour we gave up? It's so funny how we can just manipulate time. Don't you think? Like I wonder what could have happened in that extra hour that I sacrificed to daylight savings. Probably nothing but how will I ever know?

I guess that's it for now. Nothing too exciting. I have that Omarion song in my head "Icebox". You know it? The hook says "I have an icebox where my heart used to be....". It gets me thinking. Maybe I have an icebox where my heart used to be? That might explain why I find it so hard to feel anything these days. It's hard to feel angry or sad or even happy. I've had the life sucked out of me. I'm kind of numb. It's not good, I know it. But maybe with the warmer weather the icebox will start to melt. I hope so. This is going nowhere fast. Or maybe I just really like the song so I want to pretend to have an icebox where my heart used to be? I'm just talking out of my behind right now. Feeling crazy for a Monday. Peace out.

Regression

I realize I've been doing things I never got to do way back when. I realize that being in a 6 year relationship for most of my twenties really robbed me of some independence. So now I do some things to make up for lost times. I sleep with random people. Make out with random people. I get stoned and pretend I don't know what I'm doing, meanwhile I'm fully aware. Oh well. I guess it could be worse.

Somehow I've taken some steps back but it's all ok because at least I realize it. I'm not really being self destructive. Just acting out a little.

In other news I'm trying to not drink anymore. I just hate how I feel. It causes me to regress and act a fool, like DMX says. But it's just so hard because I feel like every social interaction revolves somehow around drinking. It's not that I can't have a good time without drinking, I don't need it as a social prop. But I just feel like I'm not being social if I'm not drinking a beer. I'm just torn about it all. I feel like I'm just getting too old for hangovers and hanging out in bars.

This past weekend I went to visit the kiddies in Staten Island. It was fun, more fun than I thought. It made me rethink my stance on the whole kids thing. Maybe I want them one day. As exhausting and annoying as they can be, don't they spice up life? I guess it could get boring after awhile just being you and your mate or whatever. I'm not saying I want them tomorrow, or next year, or in 10 years. But maybe one day.

Well I must go and be responsible and do work stuff. I'll check in soon. Just wanted to let everyone know my mind is still alive.

Peace!